Relationships

Today I thought about you
And my face reflected that of disdain, disappointment
Utter and complete dissatisfaction
For when I said your name before
I smiled, quite pleased that I was yours
But as I replay the words you said to me today
After asking far more of me in times gone by,
I am simply reminded that you can be just like the others
You seek your own and do as you please..
So as i try to allow maturity to be my closest friend
Im learning that trying to make you the one...
Was never the thing I should have done

You were coerced, well then again, so was I,
You were persuaded and yet so was I,
So what was it that made me think you were close to being the one
Was it your gestures of love
Or your yearning for love.
For even though you were not..I was determined
And when the option of friend was given...I was insulted
For it was at this time, this time of realization
That I finally realized that I was holding on to another woman's man..
I mean...you don't know her name and neither do I, but every time your lips touched mine
And every time I wanted more of you than I should,
I thought of her.

I thought of the woman who would have to deal with a broken man if God didn't intervene
The woman who you would love eighty seven percent rather than a hundred percent
Simply because I hurt you so much that you found it difficult to love again
I think about the woman that would have freely that which I yearned to have illegally
The woman that was for you...I think about her.

And me...well..I'm a case of my own
I knew that when you touched me, it just wasn't right
Yet I allowed you to do as you pleased..
I realized a long time ago that my happiness, though I thought it was rapped in you
Was pretense..
For I pretended to have a present with you..that I knew was only for my future tense
I wanted you to be the husband I was longing for..right now
I wanted you to satisfy my desire to be wanted
Even though I knew I wanted more than flowers, chocolate, hugs and kisses

You see...we were both looking for a god in each of us
Instead of listening to the God who spoke to us.
So instead of growing together in Christ
We grew apart from Christ
And closer together
We did as we pleased and then prayed for forgiveness
We argued, cried, pleaded,
Yearned for that which was never ours to begin with

So what do I say to a relationship that has not only ended
..but damaged a friendship...
What do I say to a relationship that took but hardly gave..
Tell your wife I'm sorry for ever touching that which was never mind..
And..I pray that God heals us and cleans us
Before we ever decide to try this relationship thing again...
So though I will never let you know...I'll miss you...
I'll miss the relationship God intended for us to have...
Before we took matters into our hands...

I'll miss the opportunities I could have learned from you
Rather I insulted you..
I'll miss the YOU that existed before ME...
And I long to see you in a year from now...when my world and your world meet again...
Good bye until then

franny


Ever so often..I find myself in the same relationships..Simply put, the ones I shouldn't be in!..
 Today I start a fresh and I plan on encouraging every young man and woman to seek more out of life. People are a gift, but lets not abuse the relationships and friendships we find ourselves in. Gods love is real and he really wants to take us higher. Ladies, this doesn't mean that you insult your former partner and men it doesn't mean that she never meant anything...it simply means...SEEK the kingdom first..and allow everything else to fall in place.

God is writing my Love story